Monday, November 5, 2012

Is This the Real Life? Is This Just Fantasy?

Well, here I am in Georgia.  Just sitting here while my husband is on the road back to El Paso.  He left this morning a little over two hours ago.  Cam and I said our goodbyes to Josh this morning with only a few tears.  I don't think I would have cried at all if Cam hadn't started hugging him and pulling away from me, wanting Josh to hold him...that was pretty much the worst thing E.V.E.R.  :{  I think the reason I haven't been very emotional or cried about it, like really cried about it, is because I still don't think things have really sunk in yet.  It's all still kind of surreal.  I've been trying so hard to forget about what's going on, focus on moving and enjoying time together at home, and push my feelings about the "D" word out of the way that I think I've almost made myself a little numb to the reality that we're not going to see each other for 10-ish months.  Shew.  Hea-vy. 

Wives who have been through deployments: did you find that for the most part you felt this way the whole time, or did it seem pretty real from the get-go?  Did reality set in gradually or hit you all at once?  If so, when?  I know everyone's experience is different because everyone deals with their emotions differently...I'd just like to hear your stories so maybe I'll feel a little more prepared.

Anyway, on a different note, we had a great time these past couple of weeks!  Our visit was jam packed, of course.  We had a Halloween party with my parents' neighbors, went to the pumpkin farm, visited with some college friends, took a trip to Charlotte to visit Josh's dad, grandparents, and mom (where they all spoiled Cam rotten!), worked on finishing up Cam's room and the nursery, and had a baby shower.  I haven't loaded any pictures yet, but I'll make a post with more details and pictures soon.  It was such a wonderful way for us to spend our last few days together...Josh and I even got to go on a date to our all-time favorite restaurant! 

Also, I'm 30 weeks today.  Only 10ish more to go before baby Jude makes his big appearance! said I should start packing my hospital bag...already?! 


  1. I'm 1 month in. It helped to have my mom here for a week and a half, but when she left, it really started to sink in that it was real. There are some days when you just feel kinda numb, some days you feel like normal and half expect him to come home for dinner. Other days you miss you all day. You have your family for support and little Cam to keep you busy!

  2. As you know, I'm in the same boat: Facing our first deployment, beginning in a few short weeks. :( I have moments of clarity that blindside me and leave me a sobbing mess. I have moments where I realize that I need to soak in all the sweet moments between the hubs and the kids because I won't be seeing them for the next year (which also leave me bawling). But the majority of the time, I just am living blissfully unaware/refusing to recognize how my life will be changed in a few short weeks. But God doesn't give us more than we can handle and I know we've both made AWESOME Army wife friends who understand and will help us through! Plus, prayers will be flying from all over the globe for us and our families ... so that helps! :) Hugs, my friend!!!