I guess first and foremost it's time to share some pretty big news. We're expecting again! I'm close to 12 weeks and feeling pretty good. The due date is January 14th. It was so exciting, but really scary when we found out...but I've been gaining confidence every day about the health and growth of the baby. Worrying about your pregnancy is completely normal, but a pregnancy after a miscarriage? It's been hard not to drive myself crazy! But I've been praying a lot and really appreciate the prayers that have been said on my behalf. We got an ultrasound done at 8 weeks and everything looked really good, which reassured me a lot. The baby was a good size and had a strong heartbeat. Here's the picture we got:
However, I have been having some anxiety about how the "Army Wife" will feel about it (and please don't think I mean anyone in particular - I have awesome, non-judgemental Army wife friends who I am sure will support my decision...I just mean the Army Wife "ideal" - what you think of when you think of an Army Wife). I'm positive that this is a completely irrational thought, but I just feel like Army wives are supposed to be strong, independent and just deal with their husbands being gone, even if that means having a child and/or taking care of multiple children alone (I know several women who have done and will do this in the near future that I admire SO much). Being and Army wife has made me so much more independent than I thought was possible, and I fully believe that I could do this by myself if I had to, but I can't help but feel like I'm taking the easy way out and that I'm being weak. But I guess the desire to be strong and independent is slightly overshadowed by my excitement at the thought of my family being able to be with my kids for more than a week at at time...and I KNOW that that is what I signed up for when I married a soldier, and I accept that and love him and this lifestyle dearly...but given the opportunity to be with family instead of 2,000 miles away while your husband is gone for a year, would you not take it? I'd be crazy not to...but that's just, well, the way I see it :}